


Here's to the future (for the dreams of youth)

by Louksana



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Crush, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Parallel Universes, Queen is not very known yet, Sheer Heart Attack era, So they're just friends starting to make serious music, Well basically mid-70's Brian finds a way to commuicate with 2019 Brian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-10-10 20:30:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17433008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Louksana/pseuds/Louksana
Summary: Brian was a successful science student. He was also a talented guitarist. He could explain many things from what he learnt at school and by himself, he was the curious and hard-working kind.There was one thing he couldn't explain though. Why the hell was he standing in front of some guy who was looking just like him -add a couple more years?ORThe one where mid-'70s Brian somehow happens to communicate with 2019 Brian, and maybe this could be useful.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there!
> 
> It's my first work in the Queen fandom. Please note that I don't own any of the Queen members (wow that's a surprise right?) and there will probably be minor time mistakes since I don't know exactly when things happened, and also I choose to modify some things. But it won't have any impact on the fic itself so... Enjoy I guess?
> 
> Special thanks to Myessa for being my beta reader ;)

He was working hard on some research he had to do for his assignment. He usually preferred to come and work on this kind of stuff here, at his college lab, rather than home. His roommates were the kind that keeps you from concentrating a little too much for him to progress on what he had to do. He loved them, he really did, but when he had something to work on he just couldn't trust them to keep quiet enough. Plus the lab was quite welcoming and calm. It also allowed him to get some personal time. It was his safe place.  
  
He was taking notes about a chemical reaction that could explain part of his work when there was a shift in the air. He just raised his head first, and got it down again, minding his own business. But then it became kind of uncomfortable so he turned around to see what could cause that. He saw nothing but the actual room, but when he came back to look in front of him, he jumped out of surprise.  
  
At first, it was curiosity, but then it became really weird. He was looking at a man, who was also looking at him, and this man, who came from nowhere, looked just like him. Except he had grey hair and wrinkles. It was like the lab was parted in half, and the man was seated in the other half. At first he let a nervous laugh slip from his lips. What the hell was this exactly? He probably fell asleep and was dreaming, right? Got hallucination from some substance that could be in the air? Ate something that made him sick in the head?  
The old man looked as stupefied as he did. That's when things got even weirder.  
  
"Hello?" The old man said, looking quite cautious.  
  
"Uh... Hi?" Brian replied, not sure about what was happening. "What is this?" He asked "You look like me... But older."  
  
The older man chuckled and examined him.  
  
"Well thanks... You also look exactly like me when I was younger, where did you appear from?"  
  
"Well, _you_ appeared from nowhere, I did nothing myself," Brian explained, still not sure of what this situation was.  
  
"I was just here, and then you came up here out of nowhere, it's probably my imagination playing tricks on my mind. Maybe I'm going mad."  
  
"I'm no imagination, I'm real," Brian replied, touching his own body as if it would prove it, "I thought you were coming from my imagination though."  
  
"Wait, this can't be real, there's a trick. A hidden camera somewhere, I don't know, it just can't be the reality," the oldest one mumbled.  
  
Brian frowned, deep in his thoughts. He really didn't get what was happening right now. He might have to get some sleep and drink more water.  
  
"What is this?" He asked, the room where the old man stood was the exact same except from some details, such as a rather futurist telescope, some scribbles on the blackboard with equations about what seemed like a star apparently named 'Ultima Thule', and some technology he couldn't even name.  
  
The elder turned around and got up to manipulate the telescope in order to show him.  
  
"Wait, what year is it exactly?"  
  
"2019," the old guitarist simply replied, seemingly lost in his thoughts again.  
  
"What? No, we're in the mid-'70s, what the hell is going on?" He tried to calm himself down, this was both scary and exciting. He was even almost shaking. "Do you think there could be a way that we got to communicate several years apart? Is this even possible?"  
  
The elder laughed for a second. "Well I don't know, but that's apparently what could be happening to us. I'll have to do some researches. It's never happened though. Let's keep that to ourselves right? We don't know where that came from, we don't know what the consequences could be," and Brian could only agree with that. "You're having me feel like I'm in my mid-twenties again. Please don't think too much about it, I can hear your mind working and flying in every direction from here. We'll figure it out somehow."  
  
And he was not wrong, Brian's thoughts were going on with every plausible explanation, but he couldn't help it.  
  
"So you're 2019 Brian then..." the youngest said, and these words felt so weird on his tongue. The other nodded and made the same conclusion. "I don't know what caused this to happen but-"  
  
He stopped in the middle of his sentence as his peer suddenly disappeared as fast as he had appeared earlier.  
  
"No! Come back! Please, make this work again..." He suddenly felt desperate. Would that even happen again? Or was that the chance of a lifetime?  
  
  
  
He spent the rest of the afternoon at the lab, questioning the phenomenon. He had to progress on his work so he finally had to give up, but on his way home he stopped at the library where he searched for books about time breaches, parallel universes, time travel, the collapsing universe, even about hallucinations or ghosts. But except for novels and scientific books, he found nothing. He read through the latter quickly because it was nearly closing time, but nothing interesting came from it. All the theories were unbelievable, so he was still at the starting point.  
  
  
He thought about it during the weekend, but he had to concentrate on recording a few tracks with the boys, and it kept him busy enough for him not to kill his mind on it.  
He returned to the lab on the next Monday, and he tried to summon his old... Friend? Self? What was it exactly? He dropped it after several minutes of intense assiduity.  
  
He was about to go home -a little earlier than usual, he really spent half of his time here- his hand on the door handle, when the same atmosphere took place in the room. He turned around quicker than a spaceship speeding around a comet, and there he was. Standing at the other side of the room, the same guy as the other day was looking at him both with amazement and pride.  
  
"Here you are again !" Brian cried out, putting his bag on the table again.  
  
"Hi there, apparently here's some good news. It wasn't a dream nor a one time appearance. I wondered if we could communicate again, but I think I have my answer now."  
  
"Did you do anything in particular for this to happen?" the youngest asked, he wanted to know what was up with this.  
  
"No, not really. I searched through the internet and stuff, but no sign of a similar experience."  
  
"Searched on the _what_?"  
  
The elder chuckled a little "Oh I haven't thought about that sorry... Well that's uh, a network where people share stuff and you can access to almost everything you're looking for. You can even buy things on it, chat with people, play games... Anything really. But you can't find anything about contacting your younger self or anything that looks like that."  
  
Brian couldn't imagine such a thing. It seemed so cool and exciting. Extremely futurist in his mind. They started debating on whatever would this be, hypothesising about what was happening to them, not finding anything that fitted the situation. They only came to the conclusion that maybe it was something in the lab, because neither of them had been able to contact the other except from there. They weren't even sure, but it could be possible, and they could try to verify that.  
  
That's how they arranged a time to try and meet again the next day, while the communication was still working. It eventually cut not long after, and Brian was so excited and in a good mood now that his friends started speculating about him.  
  
"I know what's up with him!" Freddie suddenly exclaimed when they were all getting cosy on the sofa, Brian on his habitual old but oh-so-comfortable armchair that he got by chance one late evening. The piece of furniture was right there on the sidewalk, aside from the bins, and he, Roger and Freddie were a little tipsy (well his friends were more than tipsy, but Freddie handled alcohol better than Roger) and they just took it from where it was to their flat and so he just claimed it as his own since then. It had definitely been used quite a while before, the colour had passed a bit in some places, and the armrests were a little scratched, but it was perfectfor him.  
  
Everyone's head got up, waiting for his new idea. And Freddie made the suspense last a little before finally announcing with a theatrical move :  
  
"Our Brian is in love!" and then mixed emotions followed. John rolled his eyes, Roger got all excited with Freddie, and Brian almost facepalmed too hard.  
  
"I told you, it's just about a part of my thesis, nothing that you guys would find exciting really, but it's makes me very pleased, that's all."  
  
"That's what he says" Roger giggled and got up to pinch Brian's cheek. "Freddie's right, you can't keep things from us. I'll make some tea to celebrate, because we don't seem to have any alcohol to properly do so."  
  
Brian almost cried out for help. He had to mentally list why exactly he loved his friends, and he soon had one as long as his arm. Okay, maybe life would be a lot less hectic and a lot more boring without them, and the thought warmed his heart. Not as much as the burning liquid that ended on his leg when Roger handed his cup to him though.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> I hope you enjoyed, if you did let me know! If you didn't... Let me know too, I'd love to improve myself!  
> It's my first time writing in English so if you see something that bothers you please tell me :)
> 
> Also, thank you to the Maylor Lovers discord people, I probably wouldn't have posted that (or even thought about this story) without you :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian found a way to meet his old self. He has some questions to ask him now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,  
> I hope you're all doing well! I wanted to thank you for the kudos! And more especially for comments, I was very happy to read them :D
> 
> So here's the 2nd chapter, the base of the story is slowly developing in order to let the 'real story' begin! So you'll see more actual relationships between the boys very soon!  
> I hope you like it (and please don't feel scared to tell me if you do :) I'd love it!)

Brian arrived at the lab a little early. He had spent the morning with Freddie, writing some lyrics and arranging some songs, getting creative really. After lunch, he went there and patiently waited for this weird encounter to happen again.  
He and his older self had figured some things out for now, to test the communication, and mainly to see if there would be any consequences of changing a few things. So Brian from the '70s tried changing meaningless things that 2019 Brian could verify, such as his answers in an interview that 2019 Brian read to him before telling him to change it, or choosing other clothes for a concert he and the boys had had this week. They thought that if this didn't change in 2019 Brian's time, the rest probably wouldn't, but they needed to be sure.  
And it had no repercussions. The article of the interview was different for both era, the clothes -and pictures that were taken of them- weren't the same. Nothing actually changed in old Brian's time. No trace of anything disrupting the time breach or whatever this was. At least for now. They still had to be cautious in case anything would provoke some dysfunction, or worse.  
  
"Do you think we're two different people then?" Brian asked, his curiosity seemed to never get enough of this, knowing and searching and theorizing about this felt so exciting yet still a little terrifying. "We're not from the same world, are we?"  
  
"It seems like something like that. We're having the same life struggles, you're making the same choices that I did something like 40 years ago, you're living the same life. The only things that differ are details which I don't seem to encounter here and now," the elder said, touching his chin while speaking, "I suppose if we never met we'd have had the exact same life. No one can tell."  
  
"So whatever choice or action I get to do it doesn't seem to have ever happened in your life... What do you think about something like parallel universes? It doesn't explain much about why we got to meet, doesn't explain why now in particular either, but could it be it?"  
  
"Brian," the old man said with a light laugh, "I may be more experienced than you, but I don't know anything about this, I'm as new to this as you are so... It could be it, or it could be anything else. I suppose we'll get to know... Or never know at all."  
  
"But I-" Brian started, cut off by his other self.  
  
"I know you want to know everything about it, so do I actually. I'd really like to know as well, but there's no way we can really know so let's just accept it while it lasts."  
  
"You sound like a party-pooper! Or a wise man; or a mix of both maybe," the youngest one said, a little pouty now.  
  
His older self shrugged as if he was sorry. It felt like he was both his dad, friend, but he also was the man who happened to have the exact same life as him. Mixed feelings at its finest.  
  
They go cut off shortly after while discussing the uni work Brian had to do -he might as well use this situation in a good way.  
  


 

  
The following evening, Brian was feeling so impatient. Now he wanted to know what the future held for him. He somehow didn't even think about this before, when it really was the most exciting stuff about the whole situation. He hoped his old self would tell him at least the most important stuff: how was the rest of the band, did they make it in the music industry, what was his life up to then, more than 40 years in the future. He was all excited.  
  
"Your mood is rather strange these days," John told him as he was looking at him from behind the newspaper he was reading.  
  
"What? I didn't do anything weird, did I?" Brian replied, he couldn't remember himself acting so weird that his friends would notice.  
  
"I don't know, you're just too joyful. I mean a new level of joyful I have never seen coming from you. Freddie may be right after all."  
  
"Fred- wait, no! I'm not seeing anyone, I'm just... This is still this essay I'm writing, I'm just really happy with it that's all. Nothing so strange when you see how much of a hard work it is, you'd feel relieved too if it was you doing it and you got to finally be almost done with it," he tried to defend himself, John didn't seem like he wouldn't believe him without a doubt but acted like it was fine.  
  
"If you say so, I'm glad for you then." And the youngest one of them got back to reading as if this conversation never happened.  
  
They watched TV together that night, all seated on the couch in various positions because Freddie had decided there were 'no chance for Brian to sit on his damn armchair tonight', and the guitarist really wasn't in the mood for complaining. Instead, he just ended up crushed between John at the end of the couch and Roger; Freddie was at the other end. But he couldn't care less, these guys were his best friends in the world.

  
  
  
Delight was all over his face. It was also on 2019 Brian's face. They were discussing how successful the band was -would be for Brian. He tried to ask which songs they made later on, but the oldest man wouldn't answer.  
  
"You have to figure some things out by yourself. It's no fun knowing it all from the start."  
  
"Yeah... You're right. And you got a PhD? Wow, I can't believe I'm going to be so successful. And I'm ageing so well."  
  
They laughed together, the mood was light, they were enjoying themselves and their moment together. They already got to the point where they were quite used with each other's company.  
  
"Hey by the way, how are the others doing?"  
  
"Uhhh..." his old self suddenly seemed cautious. A little too cautious for that to be normal. "Roger's great, I haven't seen John... And Freddie in quite a long time now."  
  
Brian's mood quickly went from pure joy to just being sad. No, he wouldn't be able to spend his whole life without his friends. _All_ of them. He felt like they were committed to spending their lives together.  
  
"Why did you only part ways with John and Freddie and not with Roger?" He asked, very calmly compared to his initial excitement.  
  
"Well," the elder took his time to answer, as if he was searching his words, "life is not as easy and gentle with everyone. Some people must go away from you. It is how it is."  
  
2019 Brian looked quite miserable now, even if the youngest guitarist could see he was trying to cover it up. He could understand why, according to the way he felt by only imagining it.  
  
"Wow... But how are they doing now?"  
  
"I'm still touring with Rog, John has... I think he kinda went back to a normal life, he... Was too shaken when we had to part. Freddie he..." He did not finish what he was saying as his voice faded out. Brian was starting to feel fear itself spreading through his chest, something felt very unsettling, even though he didn't know what was on about him. "Freddie went away, loved until his last moments. Still is though," the elder finally added with a croaky voice, but he quickly pulled himself together, "I probably shouldn't have told you that."  
  
Brian, on the other hand, felt like someone had thrown both an icy cold water bucket and a train to hit him. He couldn't believe what he was just told. He must be livid now because from the corner of his eyes he could see his old self starting to get a little agitated as he was probably getting worried for him.  
  
"He... Died 27 years ago Brian, there was nothing we could do about it. When we learnt about him being sick it was too late already," the elder said, his voice punctuated with regret.  
  
"How- why?"  
  
"You won't know it... Wow, it's weird to talk about it with you... Because the world at your time does not know this but... A major, let's say, epidemic, appeared in the '80s. You can catch it several ways, either injections, like drug injections, or by having unprotected sex. Mostly. It kills you shortly after you can tell you're sick. Well not anymore, there was much progress on this but... Yeah."  
  
"Wait, I could save the world, at least many people if you tell me more about it," Brian suddenly blurted out, almost shaking.  
  
"As much as I'd love to, we can't risk it. We still don't know what the meaning of all of this is. There were no consequences for now, but maybe a major change would kill the balance we seemed to find. I'm sorry. I also thought about it but I think the best way is to just... Keep this to ourselves, at least for now, and see what happens, just in case. We should be extra cautious."  
  
Although Brian felt devastated for not being able to help, he understood what the other said. He reluctantly nodded.  
  
"But at least tell me how I could help to... Save Freddie..."  
  
"We'll see it all in good time. He'll... Kind of lose himself with sick people, not necessarily aware of it. Just try to... Keep him safe? By telling him not to shag with the first person who comes along, right? I'm not even sure he would listen to you if you told him that."  
  
"But I- _we_ can't let him die!" Brian was almost shouting, and of course, that's when his old self disappeared. _Always vanishing at the best moment_ , he thought, ironic.  
  
What was he supposed to do now? He sat down, because he had been standing most of the time, moving his arms while talking. He was exhausted, all of this had drained most of his energy. He closed his eyes for a bit, trying to concentrate on how his lungs were filling with air and then exhaling it. He was going to be fine.  
He spent a part of the afternoon to pull himself together and went home walking instead of taking his habitual underground line. The cold air helped a little.  
  


  
"Ahh perfect! He's home early!"  
  
First a familiar voice and then a familiar face, an arm wrapped around his shoulders pulling him forward.  
  
"We were planning to get pizzas tonight, it's been a while, and then play some game maybe, or just chill out. What do you think about it, darling?"  
  
He enjoyed his touch and voice as much as he could and tried not to look too shaken up by imagining him- no he definitely wasn't going to think about this now or he might start crying and curling himself into a foetal position, and he couldn't tell anyone. He couldn't tell Freddie that something around 15 years from now, he'd find out about him being condemned. So he tried to cheer up.  
  
"Pizza sounds perfect Fred," and the latter's smile was so precious he decided he made the right choice.  
  
"How was your day?" John asked, just as calm as he ever was, "Any new discovery of yours?"  
  
"Fine and no new discovery, being a scientist doesn't mean finding what you were searching for every now and then. But thanks for asking."  
  
"So who wants to go and get the pizzas? I went with John last time," Freddie pointed out.  
  
"I guess we're not having any choice then," the drummer said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Let me just get a quick shower and I'll come with you, I'm all sweaty from walking so much," Brian told him, now heading to the bathroom.  
  
"Why the hell did you walk here from uni? You know there's something called the underground that would actually be quicker, plus it's fucking freezing," Roger replied, seemingly outraged.  
  
"Just felt like it," the guitarist mumbled on his way to the bathroom.  
  
He did not take long but the hot water felt good on his skin. He dressed up in fresh clothes and went to meet Roger who was waiting for him on his beloved armchair.  
  
"We can go," and they went right after he spoke.  
  
They walked for a bit, the pizzeria wasn't too far away, and they'd rather go and get them instead of paying the delivery. A 10 minutes walk to go there wasn't going to kill them. Roger kept complaining about how cold it was, and Brian kept not really listening to him. They were shortly there though, and then had to wait for their food to be ready. Suddenly the drummer's face lightened up and Brian could tell he was having one of his not-so-good idea making its way through his neurons.  
  
"We could get some beer while they're preparing, the shops will close shortly but there's one over there."  
  
The dark-haired one wanted to sigh but finally agreed, so they spent the next five minutes or so in the shop across the road, buying some beers and also some stuff for a coming meal. Brian paid because somehow his friend had forgotten his wallet -what an idiot-, and they went back to the pizzeria.  
They still had to wait for their food, and Roger took this opportunity to talk about _a lot_ of stuff. Once he got started he was such a chatterbox. Brian was not really listening to him, instead, he was just concentrating on his face, looking at him as he was talking, also reading on his lips for his brain to connect visual information and sound. And he noticed this familiar thing down his stomach. It wasn't really a bad feeling, mostly weird, a little pleasing. He was feeling good here and now, forgetting about the day he'd left behind him. He was with his people, he was going to get some pizza, they would spend a great and unproblematic evening. He felt at peace.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian now knows a little about what the future holds for him but he has more surprises to come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I'm here again with chapter 3 :D I hope you'll love it, Maylor is now starting to develop ;)
> 
> I'm very grateful for the comments you guys posted, it's very motivational and it makes me so happy!  
> Happy reading :)

"But are you having any regrets in life?" Brian asked his old self. They now met almost every day except for the weekends. It had become their little routine.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
The youngest one settled his head on his hand, his elbow supporting it. "Like... Some things -bad things, that I could prevent? Regrets you might have?"  
  
The elder seemed to think for a moment, but after a few seconds, it seemed to Brian that he looked like he was fighting a battle in his mind.  
  
"You can tell me, please I really want to know" He insisted. "You could at least help me anticipate things so I wouldn't make the same mistakes you may have made."  
  
"Look I... We already talked about it and I don't know if we should risk it, what do you think?" The elder said calmly, "I already told you so much, even really bad things so..."  
  
Brian's mind was rushing, his heart was beating fast. These encounters were still so interesting, yet the possibility of it altering his destiny made it full of adrenalin. Yeah, that was right. He still couldn't even believe what 2019 Brian told him already. He couldn't imagine that. He couldn't imagine a life without the others. He could not cope with not seeing John almost at all. And more than everything, he couldn't imagine Freddie being _dead_. He inhaled a little sharply.   
  
"Okay but just... Except from what you already told me... Are there any other regrets?" He desperately needed to know. He thought about it a lot before asking the experienced one, but he felt like he had the right to know about it.  
  
The eldest seemed to search for the right words. "Right... Of course there are. I couldn't list them all, most of them are probably not so bad after all." He stopped, thinking again.   
  
"Tell me the worst one then if you like, only the worst one. I need to know. I won't ask for the others, at least not if I don't need it." Brian's blood pressure made him feel quite dizzy. He was feeling like this was so important, and he definitely didn't know that what was coming would change everything. Not consciously at least. "Quick please, we don't have much time, the communication might stop anytime now..."  
  
His old self didn't reply. Instead, he just turned his head slightly to his left to look at a picture in a frame on the shelf, with tender eyes and a fond expression.  
  
"What is it ?" Brian asked, he was just so curious.  
  
The experienced guitarist bit his bottom lip and got up. He walked to the shelf and took the picture in order to show him. It was a photograph of Brian and Roger. Brian quickly understood that it was not from this year, nor before, because they looked a bit older and Roger had shorter hair. Still had his usual happy look on his face though. It felt strange to stare at them this way.   
  
"Did anything happen to me - _you_ and Roger?" He couldn't figure out why exactly was he shown this picture. A nervous laugh came from the other side of the room, but it was starting to fade away. "Please tell me! The communication is going to cut!"  
  
He only had time to hear a rather distant ' _well nothing happened actually_ ', and then his old self suddenly disappeared. He swore to himself and got up, walking in circle for a moment, frustration running through his body. What did this mean? What was he supposed to do with this new piece of information? He'd have to wait and ask again tomorrow, he really hoped he could contact his confidant again. He sighed and took his coat, put it on, and left the building. It was time to go home anyway.  
His way back felt so short, he had spent the whole journey thinking about it, and he couldn't quite figure it out.  
  
When he got to the flat he shared with the guys, he greeted John who was cleaning the floor and Freddie who was writing on a piece of paper.  
  
"How was the day, darling?" The latter asked him.  
  
"Oh uh, great I think? A bit... Frustrating but... Fine. How was yours?"  
  
"I think I got a new song stuck in my mind."  
  
Brian smiled and put his thumb in the air in approval. He went to his room to put his bag down and went straight away to the kitchen to get something to eat. That's when he stumbled on Roger, sipping on his tea.  
  
"Wow what is it that makes you in a hurry like that?" the drummer asked.  
  
Brian raised his eyebrows. "Well what are you doing in the middle of the way?", and Roger frowned and shook his head like it was a normal thing to do before he sat down on his habitual chair.  
  
Brian went to search for anything to eat, and Roger told him some tea remained in the teapot, so Brian poured some in his cup and also got himself some biscuits. He turned around to walk to the table, and that's when it hit him. He almost dropped his cup but managed to put it down on the table right in time. Roger squinted at him but made no comment.  
The guitarist also sat on his chair and stared at his friend for a moment. Roger also stared in return.  
  
"Anything wrong?" the drummer finally asked, it was obvious that he did not understand Brian's behaviour.  
  
"Oh no just... I just thought about something," he replied, trying to act cool; "nothing important, it's fine."  
  
"What about it?" and Brian had to think quickly.  
  
"Oh just about my work at college, I haven't thought about it until now but now it clicked my mind."  
  
Roger nodded and finished his tea, he then put his cup in the sink and left the room, leaving Brian who was still looking at him.  
He inhaled a bit and set his eyes on his still full cup. He finally swallowed the now not-so-much hot tea. He was still processing this. And it took him the whole night to think again and again about it. He felt almost nauseous. This couldn't be it.  
  
He did not get much sleep that night.  
  
  
He almost spent the whole following day at college, waiting for any sign of his other self. He never appeared though. The dark-haired looked forward to it so much that he nearly wanted to cry from frustration when he had to leave because it was closing time.  
He tried again the next day, and the following one. He spent three whole days waiting for it to happen, but it never did. He was sufficiently frustrated to be a little harsh with his roommates, who were starting to be a little worried about him.  
But on the fourth day, when he wasn't counting on it very much anymore, it did happen. He almost jumped out of his skin when the old guitarist showed up.  
  
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," Old Brian told him, he wanted to add something but that's when he noticed the shadowed eyes of the youngest one. "Didn't get much sleep?"  
  
Brian tried not to scream. He really did. He tried to breathe in and out calmly, but he was too exhausted, both physically and mentally, to stay calm. It didn't look like him to act like this, but this whole thing was just haunting him day and night. He couldn't concentrate on the few classes he had to take, he didn't make much progress on his thesis, and his social life consisted on petting the only cat who would actually accept him to do so and kind of avoid his friends not to have them shoot questioning looks at him.  
  
"How dare you let me alone like that? After what you said?! What the hell were you thinking! I was going mad! What did you even mean?" He blurted out, the whole amount of bottled up emotions now getting to the surface. He was still afraid to know the truth. He didn't know if he wanted it to be real.  
  
The elder winced, Brian felt a bit sorry now that he was calming down a bit. He breathed out and sat down again, only realising he'd been standing while almost shouting. He wasn't the best with accepting his own feelings.  
  
"I... I'm sorry, look it's not that easy. I had to take some time before talking to you again," old Brian told him, looking quite distressed now, "I really felt like it was a bad idea to tell you."  
  
"No I... Sorry, I've just been thinking about this non-stop and you weren't there when I needed you. Will you finally talk to me or should I just go away and never come back?" It did sound like a threat, he couldn't hold it; he was still bitter.  
  
The older one took some time to collect himself, Brian was looking at him as if he could probe his mind, so he finally gave in. "Alright, I'll answer if you like... But don't blame it on me then. What exactly do you want to know?"  
  
"Do you-," He stopped, searching for the right words, "Do you really feel this way for Roger?" and the experienced guitarist's face remained so blank it felt weird. "Please tell me, you promised..."  
  
"He... Means a lot to me, always have, always will," the oldest musician told him cautiously. He wasn't lying here.  
  
"What exactly do you mean by 'a lot'? You don't see him only as a friend, do you?"  
  
The elder's expression finally changed a bit. He couldn't keep his eyes from betraying him. The visible pain made Brian's stomach twist in a very uncomfortable way.  
  
"That's what he is to me, a friend. The best I could ever get. Don't let him go, never. There's no other like him."  
  
The youngest one inhaled and finally said it: "But you do wish he was more than just a friend, or best friend, right?"  
  
Old Brian could only nod. The dark-haired got mixed emotions from this. He felt a weight leaving his shoulders, he also felt sick, but glad he finally knew. It had been killing him. And it probably wasn't going to stop now.  
  
"Do you think that, if we really are in parallel worlds, some things might change? And some things might stay the same? I mean, I know we already tried to test it but... These were minor changes," He felt really concerned by that time. He couldn't believe he was actually saying that. The older one never pointed out what Brian was trying to say, and he felt some wave of relief rushing through him again. He wasn't sure he could explain this urge to ask about it for now.  
  
"I don't know... It seems like your life has been looking very similar for now. I can't tell to what extent. Some things might change, like the one we purposely manipulated, and some might not. For now it didn't have any effect on my time, so it's probably good news. Only time will tell I guess."  
  
Brian sighed deeply. Why did he put himself in that situation exactly? He didn't see it as the best idea he ever had now. He could use some personal time to clear this up.  
  
"I have to go... Should I see you again soon?" He did not feel like it anymore. Not for now anyway. His head was buzzing and his heart felt like a hundred pound.  
  
"Take your time. I'll probably be there at the same time for the days to come if you ever need me. I'm sorry I put you in such a situation."  
  
"No, it was me who put pressure on you. I got what I asked for. I'll be fine. See you soon okay?"  
  
His old self nodded one last time before they put an end to it by the elder leaving the lab, and his last image was full of empathy.  
Now Brian was alone, and he probably wasn't going to get much more sleep from now on. He was screwed up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his talk with his old self, Brian finds himself a little confused. He starts to figure things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I hope you're having a good day/night/whatever it is where you are so far!  
> If you don't, I hope this chapter will get you in a better mood. (I also wish it does if you're having a great day though, obviously)  
> So here's chapter 4, I hope you'll love a little journey into Brian's head, among other things :p
> 
> I of course love reading your comments, so don't hesitate to tell me what you thought, what you think will happen, or anything crossing your mind really, I'd be very happy to know about that!
> 
> Also, and I'll stop speaking here, if you're interested in a Maylor Discord (but mostly about Queen in general now), please join us here https://discord.gg/A6jqFXp :)

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't thinking about it.  
  
At first, he had tried to just act as if nothing had happened. It didn't work. Every time he saw Roger, or even only thought about him, he felt overwhelmed and scared. His little talk with his old self was spinning in his head most of the time when it happened. Then, he finally had taken some time to think about it, he even made a list -which he made a mental note to keep far from curious eyes-:  
  
_Could I possibly be attracted to my bandmate?_  
  
_\- He has a good style._  
_\- He looks good in general._  
  
It was the truth, he always thought Roger looked fine. More than fine actually. In fact, he just always had suppressed that kind of thoughts. It somehow felt weird to call his best friend 'handsome' or even 'cute'. He had always thought it was not what a man should think about another guy. Even less about his best friend, dear lord. Freddie always had found it easy to behave like this with people, calling them cute names, complimenting them on how they looked. Brian just wasn't that kind of person. But now that he was thinking about it... Maybe he was allowed to think people looked good after all. Even his friends. Even his male friends.  
He sighed. Freddie and John also looked good. It just didn't feel the same. Did that make it a point for Roger? Hell, he didn't know. He just let the ink sink on the paper and carried on with his list:  
  
_\- I love his solos._  
  
He sighed again, heavier than before. He was a die-hard for Roger's solo moments. Most of the time, Brian was concentrated on his guitar, but sometimes his parts were easy enough that he could look up at John playing his bass for a moment, or Freddie singing. But he loved, above everything, to watch Roger play his drums. The blonde was the kind that gave all he had while playing, smashing the different parts of the drum set with full energy, sweating all over from the effort, his hair stuck to his temples, lost in his partition, and... Wait what was Brian thinking? He shook his head, he was having vivid images of this and he didn't even remember staring that much at the drummer. He ran a hand through his hair and went on:  
  
_\- I love his voice._  
  
He could probably talk about the blonde's voice for hours long, but that wasn't the point. He made another mental note of not going too off-track. He just needed facts, forgetting that being rather obsessed with someone's vocals could be one. Hence, he just told himself he liked his friend's raspy voice, his friend's tenor voice, his friend's falsetto voice, oh and God knows he loved the high notes from what they recorded for In The Laps Of The Gods. Shit. He lost himself again.  
  
_\- He cheers me up._  
  
Okay, this one wasn't too difficult. Roger really was the happy mind of the band. He and Freddie would always do the best -or the worst, that is- jokes, they would fool around and no matter how much Brian sometimes didn't want to encourage them, he often had to at least laugh or smile. So except from when he was moody and it obviously happened, Roger was like the sun and Brian loved when he shined so bright it almost hurt.  
  
_\- He's my best friend._  
  
The dark-haired looked at the line he had just written on the paper and thought about it. He and the blonde knew each other for a few years now. And if they inevitably had some fights, they never broke the friendship. Never even thought about doing it, at least on Brian's part. They were the far opposites, yet so complementary.  
  
_Okay, stop daydreaming like a school girl, Brian May. You're a grown man now, there's nothing wrong about thinking of this kind of stuff; although it's a rather dangerous thing to do, don't you think?_  
  
He put his pen down and hid the folded paper in his back pocket, where no one would look. He went to the living room, where he was greeted by Delilah.  
  
"She does love you, dear," Freddie remarked, "you're her favourite, she loves you more than me."  
  
Brian laughed and picked up the cat, "I can sense some jealousy in the air." He sat down in his armchair and looked at John, quietly playing on his bass near the window.  
  
"Where's the last one of us?" He asked, surprised not to see Roger here nor in the kitchen earlier.  
  
"Dunno, he went out like... An hour ago?" John replied, looking at Freddie for him to nod in approval.  
  
Brian put his lip together and nodded too, playing with the cat hair, Delilah especially loved it when he scrubbed her ears. She loved good nail scrubs.  
They just laid there together in a calm atmosphere that was quite rare in the flat, to be honest. It was so peaceful Brian almost fell asleep.  
  
  
The front door opened a bit too loudly and pulled the guitarist out of his somnolence. Maybe he kind of fell asleep then. He was a little disoriented at first, only to recognise Roger leaving his coat on the hanger.  
  
"Oh sorry I woke you up," the blonde noticed when he turned around and faced them. That's when Brian saw that Freddie must have nodded off too.  
  
"That's fine," the singer said, "it was too quiet anyway."  
  
"Alright, so I found this new pub down the street, it just opened and it seems quite cool, I thought maybe we could spend the evening here?"  
  
"I'm up for it. We haven't been out partying for a long time now," Freddie remarked.  
  
"Does 'for a long time' stand for 'last week'?" John said, "I'm okay with it though."  
  
Brian agreed, okay, just for tonight. He wasn't much of a party animal, but once in a while was fine. And that's how they ate together and got ready to spend their evening there, hoping it would be a great place to go. And if it wasn't, Brian knew his friends would find something else.  
  
  
  
Brian ended up sitting next to John. Freddie was gathering a crowd somewhere and Roger was talking to three girls at the same time. Brian had been watching him carefully. The blonde seemed so good with this, so at ease with people -mostly females- that Brian almost felt like smashing his head on the table. Why did people get it easier on such things as social life and others didn't even know how to act in front of other people? Even the ones they knew? It was so unfair. He must have sighed a bit too hard because John raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
"Alright mate?" He asked, a little bit concerned.  
  
"Yeah, I was just thinking... How exactly does he get so many girls to love him?"  
  
John turned his head back to look at the drummer who must have just told the best joke ever, considering the girls were now laughing so hard.  
  
"I don't know, he just has it you know. Don't worry about finding someone to fit yourself though, I'm pretty sure there's a special someone waiting for you somewhere." John must have been a little tipsy because he winked playfully at him. "Anyway, this," he waved his finger at Roger and his new friends, "is no love; he should know it by now."  
  
Brian agreed, he emptied his drink and put it back on the table, licking his lips. Then, he didn't really know how much time had passed, but he felt an elbow in the side of his chest. He groaned and looked up at John again.  
  
"Don't stare that much, you look like you're going to make them all rot in hell together."  
  
The guitarist shrugged, "I just can't help it. You know what's going to happen? Either we're lucky and he doesn't bring one -or all of them- home, or he does and you know we'll have to find a way to suppress the awful sound of them doing... Whatever they do."  
  
"Yeah, I should probably go and interfere with them, don't you think?"  
  
When Brian looked back at the drummer, the latter had gotten a guitar from somewhere and was playing for his private audience, shooting flirty smiles at the girls.  
  
"Ugh, I can't keep on looking at that, please do something. Anything, really. In fact, can we go home? I'll get Freddie, they've had enough fun, plus, we have some serious late recordings to work on tomorrow, before they drag us out of the studio for real," the taller one said, already pushing himself up. John agreed and went to get Roger.  
  
Freddie was a little unhappy when Brian told him they were going home, but fortunately, he didn't argue too much. They went home before the two others and the singer decided it wasn't time to sleep yet, landed on the couch instead, and turned the TV on. Brian sat on his armchair and looked at the TV more than actually watching it.  
  
John and Roger finally arrived, Brian and Freddie could hear the drummer complaining from the stairs all the way from the living room. He was still complaining when they entered the room, probably had been the whole way home, and the bassist's fed up expression was everything.  
John went straight to his room and Roger went to cuddle with Freddie, probably knowing he would pity him.  
  
"I was going to get at least one home," he said, almost pathetically.  
  
"Ooh poor thing, here, uncle Freddie will make you feel better." The singer put an arm around Roger's waist and the latter rested his head on the oldest's shoulder.  
  
Brian watched them all along and felt his chest aching a little. Now, what was he going to do? Since he'd talk about it with his 2019 self, it just wasn't the same. It was like what his subconscious had been holding back all this time, trapped into a double-locked box, had suddenly found the keys and opened the very box. He suddenly wished he had this kind of touchy-but-not-awkward relationship with Roger.  
The drummer had fallen fast asleep on Freddie's shoulder, probably feeling good in his warmth, and Brian was just looking at them absentmindedly now. He was already in the phase prior to actually falling asleep himself. His eyes wandered from the singer's hand on Roger's side, moved up to the blonde's precious face, detailing his traits as he didn't think he ever did before; not intentionally at least. He looked at his closed eyes, his lashes, his nose, his lips, his hair all over his face. His cheeks looked so soft with a little red tint from the alcohol and maybe the cold that was starting to settle in the UK. He spent a moment just looking, not even thinking. It felt great, his aching chest had melted into a pleasing warmth all over him. His eyes lingered on Roger's traits and went back down Freddie's hand that had just moved, uncovering part of the skin of Roger's hip. The last thought Brian remembered he had that night, before falling asleep as well, was that if he had been a human cell, he'd have loved to be one of Roger's hip skin cell.  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian had been avoiding the lab for a while, but when he finally goes back there, our favourite troublemaker strikes again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> I had a busy week receiving an internet friend of mine, but here I am now with my new chapter! I hope you'll like it :D

He had an exam next week, which was an excuse to work most of the time. It also helped him not to think too much. He had been avoiding the lab for the past few days, he didn't really know why. Well, he had some reasons but... He just wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to his old self again. It was like... He'd have loved to, but he'd rather speak about astrophysics only with him, at least for now. He didn't really know what was going on his mind.  
It was a very strange feeling. It felt like it was obvious in a part of his head, but the other part was panicking about it all the time. He always had been close to Roger, and if they didn't get on really well at the beginning, they'd grown to know and appreciate each other, and they were now inseparable. He wondered if maybe him having a little crush on his best friend would explain them being so close. Now it felt a bit awkward when he was around Roger, he felt like he was maybe too obvious, but the other boys were apparently not thinking about any of it. They still were trying to figure out what was wrong with him these past weeks, but now that Brian had gotten used to the whole I-met-my-self-40-years-in-the-future thing, his behaviour had gone back to his normal one, so his friends had stopped teasing him.  
He turned the page and started reading the next sentence. He knew he'd be fine with this exam, he always was, but a little help from 2019 Brian wouldn't be too much. The representation of a galaxy and some blue stars in the book made him think about Roger's eyes. Maybe he'd just been crushing on him for his whole life since knowing him but he just didn't realize? He never really thought about it in the past, but even if he was a bit scared by his feelings, they didn't feel like the unfamiliar kind, so he just went with the theory that a part of him had known about this for a while now, which was quite comforting to be honest, it made it less scary. There was still the problem of what the society thought about it though. And Roger probably wasn't interested in men. Brian thought it was a bit strange to imagine two men together, but he was rather fine with it. It was none of his business, he thought, what people did with their own lives. He knew many people thought it was wrong though.  
He was still staring at the pictures in the book he was holding, although the majority of the images were explanatory drawings. Maybe Roger wasn't exactly a sun in the middle of a solar system, but a bright star, or a unique planet you know exists but is still full of its own mysteries. In that case, Brian felt more like a satellite orbiting around him, stuck in his attraction working on him -and he knew he unfortunately wasn't the only one. And the society was a black hole, ready to suck him in at any wrong move he would end up doing. He should probably just wait and see how things would evolve.

  
  
He felt ready to meet his old self again the next day. He woke up feeling serene about all of this and he still had to study. Plus, he'd be pleased to talk about more intellectual stuff which his actual friends wouldn't understand.  
He went to the kitchen and made himself some tea, he had a lecture later in the morning but had enough time for himself first. He joined John at the kitchen table.  
  
"What are you doing?" He asked, watching the younger man  
  
"Working on that amp again," John replied, putting his tiny screwdriver down and looking up at Brian, "Had a good night?"  
  
"Yeah, alright, how was yours?"  
  
"Fine as well, what're you up to today?"  
  
"I have a lecture and I'll probably revise for my exam in the lab when it's finished."  
  
John nodded and concentrated again on his thing. Brian ate a piece of fruit, watching him work, and went to take a shower.

  
  
He walked to the lab after his two-hours long lecture, hoping he'd find his 2019 self there. He sat down on his habitual stool and started to re-read his class notes. He finally felt the air shift about an hour after coming in.  
  
"Hi there," he greeted joyfully.  
  
"Hey," the older one said, seemingly scanning Brian and deciding he looked as good as his voice sounded happy. "How are you?"  
  
"I'm fine, the lecture I had earlier was great, and now I'm studying, I was thinking maybe you would like to help?"  
  
"I'd be glad," the older answered with a smile, and Brian started reading several parts of his lessons so they could discuss it together.  
  
They agreed on meeting each other the following day at lunch time because Brian exceptionally had a lecture during their usual meeting time.

  
  
"Hi, how are you?"  
  
"Glad to see you," Brian said, everything felt good, he'd spent the evening with his friends, the album was almost finished now and they were all pleased with it, considering all the troubles they had been facing while working on it.  
  
"Me too," the oldest added, smiling at him before they started chatting about various stuff.  
  
Brian got a box out of his bag and started eating so they ended up speaking about what both of them had prepared for lunch.  
  
"Oh, so you're a vegetarian... Well I'm not even that surprised," the dark-haired one laughed and shook his head, "it doesn't sound like I'd never think about it."  
  
They carried on the topic, keeping their conversation in a happy tone, making the most of them being able to communicate with each other. Brian was in the middle of explaining an anecdote when the door swung open and Roger appeared through it. The guitarist stopped abruptly and stared at him, startled.  
  
"Hi, Fred told me you were eating on your own today so I thought why not joining you!" Roger started, all proud of himself.  
  
Brian was so not expecting this that he didn't reply for a while, and the blonde shrugged.  
  
"Aren't you happy to see me?"  
  
"Uhm I-" Brian suddenly turned his head and relief flowed through his body when he saw his older self had vanished. "I just wasn't expecting you there."  
  
"Yeah well, surprise! Now could you act a little more like you're happy to see me? I came specially for you, so you wouldn't have to eat here all alone."  
  
Brian wanted to tell him he hadn't been alone but he shut his mouth, he shrugged instead and half-forced a smile.  
  
"Plus you were talking alone, I heard you, that's where madness starts, you should be glad I'm helping you."  
  
The guitarist could only hope Roger hadn't heard what he'd been saying, but that apparently wasn't the case and he got fine with the 'I was just reciting stuff for my exam' excuse. While he was a little sad that he'd been cut off in the middle of his conversation with his old friend, he was still happy that the drummer thought about him and actually came here not to leave him on his own. It put a smile on his face that didn't leave for the whole day.  
  


  
Eventually, he got a little stressed out about the exam when the day approached. He was a little tense, a little less patient, and everyone was gradually getting annoyed with him. They all finally gave up and let him be, except Roger.  
  
"C'mon Bri, you have to relax a little," the drummer walked behind him and started to massage his shoulders, "you know what would help you with this?"  
  
Brian raised an eyebrow and shrugged, "No but I suppose you're telling me now."  
  
Roger leaned closer and whispered loud enough for the others to hear, "a good shag."  
  
John's snort was audible as it came from the kitchen. He and Freddie started talking and laughing together.  
  
"Bold of you to assume I'm not sleeping with anyone," Brian replied with a disconcerting seriousness.  
  
The blonde didn't reply straight away, only staring at him, and the guitarist had to tilt his head in order to see him. Roger's hand had stopped moving on his shoulders now.  
  
"Naaah you can't fool me, I would know. We all would."  
  
"Well, believe whatever you want to believe, then."  
  
The room fell silent again for a moment until Roger started again:  
  
"Wait, are you really seeing someone?" he asked, his voice a little panicky.  
  
"If I did, would it bother you?" the guitarist asked, looking at him once again.  
  
Roger frowned and watched him for a moment. "No, why would it?" he finally muttered.  
  
"I don't know. But well, just so you know, you were right I'm not sleeping with or seeing anyone right now."  
  
He felt the drummer's hands relaxing a bit on his shoulders and start moving again, and he was quite happy with it. He tried not to question the fact that Roger did seem a bit bothered with the idea of Brian sleeping with someone, but then again, he was the one who started with that topic, so that made no sense.  
  
"Rog would be jealous if you were seeing someone and he wasn't," Freddie stated when he crossed the room to collect a notebook, Roger complained and tried to disagree. "It wasn't a question, darling, I was only pointing out facts."  
  
"You're awful, I'm not seeing anyone at the moment because you're all getting your dirty selves into all of my plans of having girls spending the night with me, every _fucking_ time."  
  
"Oh sorry darling, we're just trying to protect you from bad people."  
  
"Protect me? You're also sleeping with a ton of people, why does no one get into your way too?"  
  
"Well they do, just as much as they do for you, but I still manage to trick them and get what I want," Freddie replied with a victorious smile.  
  
"That's unfair!" Roger cried, now playing absentmindedly with Brian's hair, which the latter really loved if he was honest. "I'm not a kid I know what I'm doing, it's fine."  
  
"You're always getting yourself in trouble, Rog," John pointed out, shrugging, "Freddie's right you need to be protected."  
  
"Freddie doesn't know what he's doing either!"  
  
"Oh now he agrees with him not being able to take care of himself," Freddie said theatrically.  
  
"Stop it, you know that's not true! Bri tell them!"  
  
Brian looked up to him and before he could even say anything, John spoke again:  
  
"You can't deny the fact that you're sometimes a bit over the limits..."  
  
"Bri, they're mean," Roger complained, now climbing on the armchair to end up in the curly haired man's lap.  
  
"What a baby," Freddie commented, and Roger pouted in return, clearly wanting to shoot his middle finger up but resisting to do so.  
  
"I lack affection, it's all because of you. And you're mean to me. At least Brian isn't. He supports my choices, don't you Bri?" Roger stated before turning his head to carefully read the guitarist's expression.  
  
All that Brian was thinking was that he probably was the one who hated Roger's escapades the most, but the blonde's wide eyes and sad face kept him from telling him that. He only shrugged and let the younger man settle comfortably on top of him. He crossed eyes with John who raised an eyebrow at him and the dark haired one made a weird face as a reply, so the bassist dropped it. Brian seized the moment, letting Roger play with his sleeve mindlessly. He tried not to stare too much at the younger one, but he was so precious he could barely tear his eyes from him. It was just a perfect moment and he tried to carve it in his brain for it to last as a memory as long as humanely possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for reading, if you liked it, please tell me :D I know you you can't see it but I just smile so bright when I'm reading what you have to say about the fic!  
> Also thank you to the discord server (you can still join it if you want, really we're happy with new members :p the link is in the previous chapter intro) people, and special thanks to my beta Myessa (she also started a Maylor fic so check her out ;))
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all have a good day (you'll make mine if you comment *wink wink*)!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian realises he won't be able to keep going with his studies while touring. Touring also means he won't be able to meet his old self anymore...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!  
> Sorry, I've been away for a while on that, but I was both working on this fic and also... On a second fic! I posted the first chapter yesterday, if you haven't seen it yet, it's a Joger fic this time. It's an angst modern schoolfic AU, so the theme is rather different than this one. If you end up reading it, I hope you'll like it (and please tell me what you think :D)  
> As always, I really love reading your comments, so feel free to leave some :p

The album was almost finished -they only had to work on a few last details now-, they were planning on releasing their first single, and the question of a tour was starting to be seriously discussed by the band and the people they worked with. They were all very pleased with the idea and the album and were looking forward to touring England... And more according to their managers. It felt like a glimpse of a proper world tour. But then, there was another problem. How was Brian meant to keep going with his studies while being on tour? He could probably ask his teachers to give him some work, books to read, or any kind of stuff really, but he didn't know if it would be possible for him to sufficiently work on it. He had been able to do that last time, when they toured for a few weeks in America -until he got sick-, but then they hadn't been the headlining act.  
The thing was, the tour they were going to kick off was not just several nights at different locations of London, nor just a few cities, it was a whole England tour, plus a few countries of Europe and then the US. He would never be able to keep up like that.  
  
He scratched his arm absentmindedly, his eyes staring into space. He had just started a new year at college a month ago and he liked it. He sighed a little. He should have known.  
  
"Is everything okay?" Freddie asked, coming into the room with a cup of his favourite tea, "want some?"  
  
Brian looked at him and shrugged, "Yeah, I could definitely use it now." He propped up on his feet and got to the kitchen to pour some hot tea in his own cup.  
  
"You look a little concerned, what is it about dear?"  
  
Brian sighed and sat down again, facing his friend who was looking at him empathetically.  
  
"I just..." Brian started, searching for his words, his finger playing on the edge of the cup, "I think I'll have to quit," he said, and had to explain what he meant when he saw Freddie almost jump out of his skin, "I mean college. I'm not quitting the band."  
  
The oldest sighed dramatically and wiped his forehead, "you almost got me fainting, darling, oh god... I wasn't ready for such a shock."  
  
"Sorry," Brian replied with a little laugh, "but you're fine, aren't you?"  
  
"Yeah, I wouldn't be if you really had told me you were leaving us," Freddie was now laughing as well.  
  
"Who's leaving?" A curious John asked, peaking at them from the front door before entering the room and sitting with them, a content smile on his face for which an easy explanation probably was the night he had spent with his girlfriend.  
  
"No one, Freddie just thought I was quitting."  
  
"Well, you weren't very clear!"  
  
"Sorry... Anyway, I'm not quitting. I was just thinking that touring and studying isn't going to be the best idea. Plus you all already stopped too so..."  
  
John nodded, "yeah, and if you really like to study you can still learn elsewhere."  
  
Brian bit his lip, yeah, of course, he could. "I'll think about it," he said, he could also talk about it with his older self later on, maybe he'd be able to reassure him with his life choices, even if he already knew everything would eventually turn out well for them.  
He frowned and his blood pressure dropped in a second. He just had realised that if he went touring he wouldn't be able to communicate with 2019 Brian.  
  
"Brian? Are you okay? You're suddenly so pale," Freddie abruptly pointed out, looking worried, and Brian replied whatever came to his head first.  
  
"Yeah, it's just... Stomach ache that's all."  
  
Both of his friends got up in a second and jumped at him in fear, feeling at his forehead and watching him carefully. Before he was even able to tell them that he was fine, Roger also came in, quite puzzled when he saw them all worried around Brian.  
  
"What's wrong here?"  
  
"He's sick again," Freddie gasped and the blond ran toward them, looking just as concerned by the time he reached the sofa.  
  
"Guys I'm okay... I'm not sick, it's just that I'm not comfortable with quitting."  
  
"He's quitting?" Roger cried in turn.  
  
Brian rolled his eyes and sighed, he let John explain the whole situation, gesturing at him. Roger sprawled himself on the armchair and sighed too.  
  
"So you're not sick, you're sure of that?" Freddie said, half questioning, looking at the guitarist' face which was a bit livelier face now that it got its colours back.  
  
"I'm fine, it's just you know... Stress and stuff. And we're releasing Killer Queen soon so it's all adding up."  
  
The singer sat again and put his arm around Brian's shoulders, "Hey it'll be alright, we're going to have this album topping the charts in no time, and then we'll tour it and have fun!" He was all excited and his eyes flickered with anticipation.  
  
"I wish I had your amount of positivity," Brian said in an amused tone, and he saw John smiling and nodding.  
  
"Come on, you're all way too demoralising about that, we did fine until now, we're getting bigger one step at a time, we'll even have a bigger touring budget now! We'll be able to live like real Queens before we even know it!"  
  
The bassist shook his head, "That's not really how that works... By the way, we still have that bill to pay, so no royal-like life for now."  
  
Freddie growled at this injustice and looked at Roger, who hadn't said anything for a while now. The singer raised an eyebrow at him and the blonde simply smiled back.  
  
"Fred's right," he finally said, "we can only do better so everything will work out well, right?"  
  
Roger, usually the excited type, looked at his bandmates and Brian could tell he was hiding his fears of the album not being received as well as they all hoped it would. John shook his head as if to say he couldn't tell, Freddie smiled at him and told him it would be fine, but when the blonde looked at Brian, the guitarist could tell he was still worried. He could at least tell them, reassure them; without them knowing the actual truth though.  
  
"I think we can trust Fred. Even if we could only know by contacting the future, I have a good feeling about all of this," Brian finally said, keeping his voice in a casual tone.  
  
Roger cheered a little and nodded, and they all started arguing over some futilities like what kind of costume they would wear, which songs they'd love to play the most, and other concert-related stuff.  


  
  
"So here we are, we're going to start with this all again soon and... I just thought about... Like... We won't be able to meet each other anymore then, will we?"  
  
The old guitarist pursed his lips and shook his head slowly, "there's no way you can be here during the tour, so I suppose we'll have to part ways."  
  
"But I don't want to lose that! I mean, what we have here is so unique, so impossible, we can't just go away and act as if nothing ever happened. Plus I love coming here and talk to you..." Brian complained, he was all sad and frustrated now, this was unfair.  
  
"I know, but you can't refuse to go on with your life. You have to go on tour and be successful."  
  
"There's also the fact that I'll stop college, so I won't even be able to see you ever again. I don't want to do that."  
  
"Me neither... But maybe you'll be able to return here someday, you don't know."  
  
"How? Even if I came back here, you wouldn't necessarily be there. What if I'll never be able to come back to the lab? And what if I do but it's too late?" Brian's throat ached at this thought, he struggled to swallow, now he was realising what he'd just said. "I mean..."  
  
"No, you're right, I'm not immortal. No matter what happens, I'm very glad I had the opportunity to contact you. I'm still doing my research about it, but it doesn't seem to go anywhere for now," the experienced guitarist shrugged and smiled at him kindly. Brian nodded, he was also very grateful for that. He sighed nonetheless, and his 2019 self picked the conversation up once again, "and how are the boys?"  
  
The dark-haired man raised his head again to look at his partner in crime, and he knew right away what he was planning to talk about. "Fine, they're all very excited about the album and the tour, so am I. I can't wait and at the same time it's a little scary."  
  
"It must be, I still remember how exciting yet stressful it was," the oldest one laughed and tilted his head a little, "but how is it going? You know who I mean."  
  
"Well, he... He's a troublemaker," Brian chuckled, "as always. Is he still one in your time?"  
  
"Roger not being a troublemaker wouldn't be Roger," the older said, rolling his eyes with a smile he couldn't hide on his lips, "anyway, is there anything new about you and him?"  
  
"I don't think so, I'm not even sure I want to do this. I mean... The idea is appealing. Okay, really appealing. But he doesn't look really into me or anything so uh... Yeah, that's where we are," the youngest guitarist admitted, biting his inner lip.  
  
"Hey, Brian, I understand it it's not simple, but things won't evolve if you keep acting as if this is all normal. I mean, he likes you for sure, you just have to test to what extents."  
  
"Well, it's funny you're the one saying that because that's exactly what you never did," Brian said without thinking about it, he opened his mouth again right away, "I mean... Sorry I didn't want to sound like that."  
  
2019 Brian shook his head, he tried not to sound too bitter: "No that's fine, you only stated the truth. I'm just trying to help you avoid making the same mistakes, that's all."  
  
"I know it's just... I've been knowing Roger for quite a while now and I can't even think of a way to read him. I mean, he keeps talking about those chicks and him doing whatever he wants, and the day after he just wants to cuddle. Then he flirts with another woman while we're going grocery shopping; meanwhile if I dare not to pay attention to him he does all he can possibly do to catch it. It doesn't make any sense!"  
  
"Well," the older guitarist said with a little smile, "at least he is affectionate to you. You know how jealous Roger can be, you could maybe go on with that?"  
  
Brian now considered doing that, but it felt a little too manipulative. He was deep in his thoughts when the light bulb in his head turned on.  
  
"Wait a second. I thought I was the one who knew him the best, but I'm not," he stated, staring right at his older self, "you are the one who knows him the best."  
  
"That's... A logical way to see things, I guess. What can I say... I think what works best with him is to surprise him. He likes to test limits, but I think you know that as well. Once he's all excited about something, nothing can stop him."  
  
Brian inhaled, the beginning of an idea starting to form in his mind. He went on discussing that with his friend from the future until the connection cut. He now felt so anxious, he couldn't believe he was actually acting on this. He took his time to find the shop he needed, not too close from college nor their flat, and he bought what he was searching for. He then went home, so nervous he was almost shaking while waiting for his train to arrive at his stop. It was ridiculous, he thought, this wasn't supposed to be that hard. He was not getting too much involved, he could still change his mind even after that, so that was fine.  
He resurfaced from the depths of the town and took a deep breath before entering their building, taking extra caution to hide his gift. He went up the stairs, made sure no one was in sight, and tried to put his best blank face on. He pushed the door and greeted Freddie who was scribbling on his notebook while lying on the sofa in some weird position, the cat on top of his stomach.  
  
"Oh, I see you've got some kind of an interesting item there, dear, it's beautiful. Now you gotta tell me who gave it to you I'm all ears," the singer said, straightening up, now all attentive.  
  
"Oh," Brian chuckled, a little caught out, "well that's not for me actually. I just... Found it on the doormat when I got here," he added, gesturing in the direction of the door, "I suppose our drummer got someone else's heart."  
  
Freddie raised an eyebrow at him and squinted, and the guitarist showed him the little tag that was attached to the single rose that said 'To Roger Taylor'.  
  
"Oh there he goes to a new level, now he found the romantic stalker type..." The oldest laughed before calling the drummer's name, telling him to come over for a surprise.  
  
"What kind of surprise is it? If it's one of your dumb- oh hi Bri, so what is it?" The blonde said, stopping when he saw his best friend standing in the middle of the room, his coat still on. "Is this for me?" He asked when he saw the flower in Brian's right hand, and the guitarist nodded and came toward him in order to give him the rose. Roger took it quietly, seemingly impressed by the sole flower presence. Brian tried his best to keep his breathing calm and his hand as still as he could as he handed it to him, explaining where he found it with his almost natural tone of voice, but he couldn't help staring at the drummer's reaction. "I don't know who could do that, I haven't taken anyone home for a while, and I don't think it could be anyone from the past. Or could it be?" He asked again, now looking straight at Brian with his wide blue eyes and the dark-haired boy's smile was a little unsure.  
  
"I don't know, I don't keep track of who you flirt or sleep with," he turned to Freddie, "have you seen anything?"  
  
The singer shook his head and pinched his lips between his fingers, "I'd love to have a secret admirer too," he stated thoughtfully.  
  
Brian chuckled, telling him that that was not the point, and Roger was still deep in thought about this, staring at the rose. Finally, he went to the kitchen and searched for the highest container he could find, poured a little water in it, and placed the rose in its new vase. When he looked back at them there was a big smile on his face, and Brian couldn't help but grin in return.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sheer Heart Attack is going to be released soon and everyone deals with stress in their own way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey,  
> First of all, I'm sorry I've been away for a while, I had to work on some personal stuff and it's already the last part of the semester here so I have a looot of work :( Don't worry though, I'm not giving up on this fic!

The following days, Roger surprisingly cherished the flower as best as he could. It caught Brian a little off guard because the drummer never was the cautious kind with these kinds of things. Of course, they had received little gifts from fans from time to time before, and they all were happy when it happened. But Roger never took the time to stare at them thoughtfully, or never cared about how or where they ended up.  
It made Brian's chest warm up a little each time he saw the blond interacting with the rose. He didn't think this would get him too involved, but every day passing by he found himself crushing even more badly on his best friend.  
  
Brian got up a little later than he usually did, but it was Saturday so he could do everything he wanted with his day. They had nothing planned for the day, but when the curly-haired guitarist met his friends that morning, he could feel the tension in each of them. Their new single would be released the next Monday and they were all living in a mix of stressful and excited emotions.  
  
"Hello sleepyhead, join us for breakfast," Freddie offered when Brian came into the living room. They were all sitting here, watching tv with cups of tea and croissants on the table.  
  
"You know we can't afford that," the guitarist remarked, pointing at the croissants, he then checked what time it was, looking at the clock which said it was half past eleven.  
  
"Come on, just for this time. We've already paid for them anyway. Now just come here and take yours."  
  
Brian nodded, they would probably eat lunch much later, that is, if they even would at all. So he went to make some tea for himself, bringing a little extra just in case anyone would want more of it. He wanted to sit on his armchair but John had already taken possession of it and the youngest boy shrugged when their eyes met. Brian then sat against the armrest of the sofa, opposite to where Freddie and Roger were cuddling.  
John often made comments about what was happening on tv, Freddie and Brian sometimes did too, but Roger was always silent in the mornings. A huge contrast with how he was during the rest of the day: full of energy, always talking, always making any kind of noise, always trying to get any attention he could.  
  
Freddie got up at some point, letting the blond drummer all curled up as if he was cold. Which could actually be a plausible reason since they'd rather save on the heating system to be able to afford other kinds of things. Brian himself could feel his fingers that were not in contact with the hot cup getting pretty cold and stiff by now.  
  
"Can I smoke here?" Roger finally said with a quiet voice, turning his head to Brian because he knew the guitarist didn't really like it. Which was right since the latter pursed his lips in a disapproving way before pointing to the window.  
  
It seemed like it was the hardest thing to do for the blond to finally get up and walk there, opening a panel and lighting a cigarette. It took a little while, Freddie had enough time to come back from his trip to the bathroom.  
  
"Hurry darling, it's freezing over here," the singer said while pulling his legs up against his chest.  
  
Roger came back shortly after that, closing the window and walking to the sofa, but this time he ended cuddling up to Brian.  
  
"You smell like cigarettes," the guitarist told him, frowning his nose, but the only answer he had was a slight 'hmm'. Brian had no other choice but to hold him. Despite his aversion for this odour, he wasn't going to complain because he liked to have Roger against him. The blond's hand touched his skin above his hip when he moved and Brian shuddered. "Damn you're fucking cold!" he yelped.  
  
Roger looked at him and raised one eyebrow, a little smirk forming on his lips.  
  
"No, don't even think about this," Brian warned him with a deep voice. He wished it would be enough to stop him, but it was too late. The drummer was already attacking him with his cold hands and the guitarist only could wiggle and try to get out of his touch, which was both freezing and burning in the areas where Roger managed to touch the older one's skin with his fingers. Luckily, he had put the cup down just a moment ago.  
  
The blond finally settled his hands on Brian's stomach under his shirt and laid down in his lap. The curly-haired had stopped fighting him by now and let his head rest on the back of the sofa, trying to catch his breath.  
  
"Now they're not cold anymore," Roger said calmly with a proud grin lighting up his face. It was probably a good thing that Brian didn't catch a glimpse of that.  
  
"Fair point, darling..." Freddie nodded before laughing a little, "you're lucky it was Brian, I wouldn't have been so kind."  
  
The guitarist shot him a weird look and tried not to take it too personally. He inhaled a little sharply though. He hoped Roger didn't feel it, although he probably did as he still had his hands on him. Brian tried to think rational, no one knew about him having feelings for his best friend, after all. He would be fine, no one would suspect anything. These kinds of situation had occurred in the past so it would probably seem like a normal thing to do. He smiled a little and shook his head in order to dismiss any doubts the boys could have had, just in case they did. He just sincerely hoped hormones wouldn't kick in right now because he wouldn't have been able to explain that.

  
  
The rest of the day was rather calm. They completely avoided talking about their album, single, or tour. They didn't even mention music, and Brian didn't feel the need to bring any of this up, quite the opposite actually. He could only feel how all of them carefully avoided talking about everything but that topic.

John went out to see his girlfriend in the afternoon and came back the following day, only to find Freddie trying some yoga poses.  
  
"What are you doing exactly?" the youngest asked, closing the door and hanging his coat on the rack.  
  
"They say it's good for stress," the singer answered like it was a normal thing to do out of nowhere on a Sunday afternoon.  
  
"Right, yeah sure..."  
  
"You should try it, it's fun."  
  
"Thanks for asking but I'm not stressed right now."  
  
Freddie mumbled something and John shrugged, a little giggle escaping his lips.  
  
"Shouldn't we set a party, for tomorrow I mean?" the youngest asked.  
  
"Oh, he wants to party," the singer replied, standing up and flattening his clothes, "wow that's a surprise. Now we should definitely set something up. I think Brian wanted to go grocery shopping tomorrow so we could tell him to buy some alcohol," he continued, "Brian?" he called.  
  
"I can hear you, I'm right here. Also yeah, I could probably do that. If anyone wants to come with me, feel free to tell me," the guitarist said from the kitchen.  
  
"I suppose I can, I've got nothing planned yet," John stated.  
  
"Very well! I believe the managers planned something already, but I think it will be a little boring, so if it really is we'll just come back here at some point and throw a real party!" Now Freddie was all excited, his eyes flickered and he smiled with pure delight.  
  
"Yeah, we don't need to buy much alcohol then, do we? I think we still have some whisky leftover in the cupboard," Brian said, now walking toward them.  
  
"Oh uh- yeah speaking of that, I think you should buy a new one, I saw Rog disappearing with that exact bottle a moment ago."  
  
John and Brian both frowned at that explanation, turning all their attention to the singer now.  
  
"What do you mean? Is he drinking all alone in his room?" the bass player asked, a confused look on his face.  
  
"I believe everyone manages their stress in different ways...?" Freddie replied, shrugging innocently.  
  
"Oh god," Brian said, putting a hand on his face, "I should check on him."  
  
John nodded and the guitarist pinched his bottom lip between his fingers before walking to the blonde's room. He knocked but heard no answer; he could only hear something tapping in rhythm.  
  
"Rog?" He tried, opening the door slightly. The drummer was sitting on his chair in front of the small desk, eyes closed, tapping with his fingers and feet on the piece of furniture or the floor. He looked very concentrated, which could explain him not hearing Brian: you could never disturb Roger when he was all about his drums. He had this power of ignoring the outside world when he really wanted to. The dark-haired considered letting him be, he didn't want to bother him. However, the sight of the half-empty bottle made him think twice. "Rog," he said again, now opening the door completely and walking to him, slightly squeezing the boy's left shoulder.  
  
Roger jumped a little and opened his eyes, searching for the source of the disturbance. He blinked at him, waiting for him to speak.  
  
"Are you okay?" Brian started, "We haven't seen you all day," he explained.  
  
"'m fine," the drummer said, his voice was a little raspy and he smiled with it, "'m just rehearsing, y'know we're touring soon and the first concert is like in a week now," he told Brian, now with a thoughtful expression on his face, "I'm not sure I'm ready..."  
  
The guitarist shook his head, "you, not being ready? Rog you always manage to do your best, it's been more than fine so far, why would you suddenly be unable to play?"  
  
The blonde shrugged and thought for a moment before speaking again: "What if they hate it? The single I mean. Or the whole album. What if they want to cancel the tour?"  
  
"Rog," Brian chuckled, "you should definitely stop drinking for today, looks like it's killing your famous self-confidence. You know you're good at drums, you're just a little overwhelmed with all the stress. Now come and sit with us, we'll play something so we can think about something else."  
  
Roger nodded but didn't move, so Brian tried to pull him a little and the drummer finally stood up and followed him to the living room. The guitarist took this opportunity to take the bottle and put it back in the cupboard, where it belonged. He came to join the other boys again, Freddie was putting a scrabble set on the table. Brian was thankful he thought about it too.  
Considering his half-drunk state, it wasn't surprising that the drummer tried some words which were not accepted and got pissed at his friends for not accepting them.  
  
"What do you mean it isn't allowed?! You just all want me to lose, you do that all the time!"  
  
"Calm down, dear," Freddie said in an attempted soothing voice, "that's how the rules are."  
  
"No you're all wrong, I'm sure it works!"  
  
"Let me check and prove you wrong then," John said, searching in the dictionary, "see, no such word." The bassist turned the page to his friends in order to show them.  
  
The singer and guitarist both nodded and agreed once again.  
  
"Well, they're talking shit! I'm positive it fits, you just all know I'm the eternal winner and want to win."  
  
"You sure are," Freddie said, rolling his eyes, "now will you stop complaining?"  
  
Roger suddenly stood and went to take his coat, he rushed to the door and looked at them again, "go on then, I'm leaving since you all think I'm dumb," he spat. He started again when he saw his friends were going to talk again, "you all think I'm dumb and you probably all think there are better drummers out there too!"  
  
He slammed the door shut and left his bandmates shooting each others confused looks.  
  
"What was that?" John asked, a little worried now.  
  
"I have no idea, darling, I think he's just a little anxious about tomorrow. He'll be fine though, I suppose he'll head to a bar or something. I'm sure he'll manage to cheer up," Freddie replied, putting another word on the board.  
  
The bassist nodded a little doubtfully but went with it and placed his word down. Brian, on the other hand, was more than worried. He really hoped the drummer wasn't going to put himself in some kind of argument or tricky situation.  
  


  
He apparently didn't, because Brian ended up trying to block his ears with his pillow in the middle of the night, wanting to stop hearing the sounds coming from the blond's room. He couldn't bear it, he almost wanted to leave the flat now. He wished he could shut his ears just like he was able to close his eyes, that would really be a useful ability in some situations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you had a great time reading, now we're heading progressively into the tour part of this fic, where things get interesting ;)  
> Please tell me what you thought! Also if you have ideas of what could happen next, or anything on you mind :p  
> Have a good day!


End file.
